Wednesday, March 28, 2012

As Long As It's Called Today...

In the last few months, I've bitten off  a bit more than I can chew. Between homeschooling in both the seventh and third grades, two new dance studios, piano and tumbling lessons, the house, a work project, a new puppy and then ahem re-landscaping the house last week, I've gone a bit coo-coo-la-choo. I'm behind on the normal, my inbox is a disaster, and my time here has slowed.

Not a new occurrence for me.

I enjoy challenge.

I go full throttle.

I realize exceed my limitations.

Of the heart

Of the body

Of the spirit

I'm a work-in-progress.  I know that. It seems that my online friends seem to have quite the insight; I've received sweet words of encouragement that lift my heart. Perhaps I'm learning the art of transparency.

Here in these wordsI'm finding freedom.

In sharing the truth of my story, I'm giving myself permission to be me, just as I am.

Just as He intended me to be.

I am incredibly thankful to all of you for the gift of seeing me where I'm at and sharing the messy and the beautiful. That's real community.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today..."
Heb 3:13

How may I care for you today? Share your needs and I'll be praying for them...or if you don't desire to leave it in the comments, feel free to email me instead. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

On Being a Fairy

"I've decided."

"You've decided what?"

"I've decided what I'd like to be when I'm older."

I knew this would be good, but nothing could have prepared  me for what came next.

"I'm going to be Einstein. Or, you know, maybe Sally Ride."

"Albert Einstein?" I managed to say, the smile showing only in my eyes.

"Yep. But without the hair. He had CRAZY hair."

She was serious. This wisp of a seven year old had plans. Apparently big ones.

"You know what Einstein did, right?" Her father asked gently. I was so proud of him. If I'd been driving we may have been off the road at this point. His grin huge, all but hidden from her view by the angle of the seat. "Well, you do love school. You have to love it, a lot, if you want to be the next Einstein...You may be able to do it...", his voice trailing off as he shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me.

I was also proud of the Grace Girl, who had managed to keep her snark to a snort.

"Yep, he did research. Relativity. He worked really hard. He was inspired."

I love, unabashedly, this little joy child in our home...her big ideas, her work ethic, her heart.

The Grace Girl chimed in, asking, "Don't you mean Amelia Earhart? I think you mean her."

"No," replied Little Bit,"I mean Sally Ride. The first woman in space."

I smiled. Big. Our English review for the standardized test was working.

Until this conversation, our sweet girl with the sparkling eyes had always told us she was going to be a fairy when she grew up. She wanted to fly. To soar and swoop and be higher up in the air than anyone else.

Suddenly, the car felt cramped and my heart was squeezed. In my head, all I could hear was a small voice saying, "She won't be little much longer."

We left the conversation there, as we pulled into the garage and tumbled out, heading to our various activities.

Later, sitting next to her over a bowl of soup at the dinner table, I said,"I thought you wanted to be a fairy. What happened to that dream?"

She smiled wide, looking me straight in the eyes."Mama, I'm never going to turn into a fairy. See, I have skin. No wings. It was a silly dream I guess. At seven, you can't very well tell people that you want to be a fairy when it's not even a possibility. I'm human."

She had a point. Being ever a realist, what came out of my mouth next surprised even me.

"You could be Tink at Disney World. She flies on a safety wire. She's a human who is employed as a fairy."

Little Bit's eyes glimmered. "I could still be Einstein," she said, "But maybe I could do that as well. THAT sounds amazing. I'd even wear wings that light up!"

That you would, my joy child, that you would.

In that moment though? It was my heart that was glowing.

In our home...

We'll still dream of soaring...with a whole lot of physics and math on the side.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Five Minute Friday: Loud

Our life is loud. It's filled with passionate voices, daily piano playing, and lots of music as the background to the daily activities we take part in.

It's my heart, beating hard and fast as the elliptical cycles and I try to outrun disease activity that may someday make more still than I desire.

It's in the crowds of people I try to avoid at the grocery store by shopping in the odd hours.


The girls don't mean to be this way. They can't help their voices going up in pitch and volume with excitement and desire for attention. I often ask, "Are you just getting off of a helicopter?" To combat my desire to hiss "shhhhhh...." I turn to humor.

Because the loud? It gets to me.

I am a girl of quiet.  I love music, but will often turn it off and go mute for periods. I crave silence. The older I become the less likely I am to fill up the space with sound.

I think, though, that maybe it is not the loud that I take issue with. It's the lack of peace with which I associate loud.


Peace to you, dear friends. In the loud and in the silence...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

No Matter The Tongue...

...He's One Great God.

So thankful for a Savior whose love echoes around the world and back.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Keeping Close

I carry His words in my heart, knitting them in and working to live them out.


There are those days I need a visual reminder.

It has been one of those days.

So, I've captured images that give a glimpse of promises He has made to me that I'm carrying on the outside...

For patience, for love eternal, for the hope I'm being renewed...In the knowledge it is all possible only through His grace alone.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Five Minute Friday: Empty

Today I'm joining my friend The Gypsy Mama for five minutes where I'll write without editing, backtracking, or second guessing.  I'll write to find the beauty in the words...writing on empty in order to uncover a piece of me in this week that was crowded full of kids and deadlines, a  new pup and midterm giving husband.

Ready, Set, go.

EMPTY .  .  .
It's where I'm at right now, after a week where my limits were exceeded on Monday and then left in the dust. Where were the energy police when I needed them? No one stopped to give me a ticket or permission to slow myself in the chaos of the week.

My patience lies there too, plumb run out, as I cringe at myself after correcting my little about, of all things, brushing her teeth with excellence. Who brushes their teeth with excellence? I mean, good gracious, we brush them well, but excellence is reserved for other items, like speech, education, our treatment of each other, sharing what we believe...we do those things with excellence.  In the empty, I fear that my excellence in other areas was a bit kaput this week.


Empty is where my energy level sits, even before I rise from bed...a part of  my SLE  & JRA I've come to accept over the last three decades. After six straight weeks of dance travel weekends,  disease activity amps up. Sometimes I wish it ran on empty.

In the empty though, I see Him. The One who graciously covers me with unending grace and shows me sweet mercy.

Grace and mercy I need to grant myself in the midst of this empty.

Empty that can be filled up so I can become more like Him.

.   .   .   .   .

Thursday, March 8, 2012

They Call It Puppy Love

Sorry I've been mostly absent this week; I've had my hands full with our newest member of the family...

She's four pounds of fluff and cuddles, and has been a full time project in addition to all of our other regularly scheduled activities for the last four days.

We chose a breed that is a fantastic family pet, has a charming personality, does not shed, and stays small so I can easily handle her when my hands/wrists aren't in top form.

She's had her first bath, played for endless hours with the chicks, and goes with us in the car everywhere  (I want to create a fantastic traveler).

The only issue right now is changing her sleep schedule and wake-up time to better work with mine. Hmmmmm....any suggestions?

Welcome to the nest, sweet Maizey Blue!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Saturday's Playlist

A friend and I were recently discussing having a “soundtrack” to our day.

Do you have music that fills your head?

Or does it fill up your heart? 

If I was to ask my Little Bit this question, the pondering would be immense.  My babe, whose fingers grace a piano for at least an hour a day, loves music. It fills her up inside and bubbles forth as she hums and sings and fingers her piano from memory in all of her spare moments. This child? She goes to bed listening to George Winston on the piano and awakes with a song in her heart.  It fills her up.

The Grace Girl is different than her sister, but not really. She doesn’t spend hours at the piano a week, simply the required amount. She hears music with her body. I watch her, dancing in her moments, to the music that fills her head. Toes pointed, arms positioned, she just hears it in a different way.

Outside of prayer, music is the main way that I connect best with our God. It’s where I experience His presence most fully, where I am most at ease with myself, where I can close my eyes and rest myself in Him.

I am so incredibly thankful for the distinct ways that music surrounds each of us.

.   .   .   .   .

In my ears right now? “Rock of Habitation”. It’s the peace solution to the incredibly chaotic studio that I’m currently waiting in. What’s on your playlist today?