Soaring and Stillness: Life with the Chickadees

I’ve deeply wrestled lately with identity and purpose.  I believe I’m prepared for the road. I’ve diligently studied the map. But then, BAM, there is an unexpected turn or I encounter brambles that pull and tear at my clothing. Here, in the unknown, I turn into a frazzled, frustrated mess questioning each inch of the cartography.  “Why am I doing this?” “Is it even worth it to continue?” “Why is no one here to help me?” “Where am I actually headed?” I’ve long sought to teach the chickadees that there is a great difference between desire and purpose and that is normal and acceptable to question. Doing what we want to do  is incredibly different than doing what we are called to do. For small humans, it is remarkably easy to redirect the want for the should. It might have taken some extra persuasion, but generally those beautiful, big, soulful eyes showed agreement and little hands slipped inside of mine and we fairly easily continued down a path. They grew, and heels d...

Us on Friday night in the elevator " You're so proud of her ."  He said it as a statement, no judgement, a bit of wonder in his voice. Speaking the her in a plural, for both of them. Another long day, long night, long weekend. He's a man who loves his chicks; he brings a laptop and reading material and sits at desks in hotel rooms instead of at home. He watches ever single routine. This man of ours hugs. He grabs bags of ice and rubs muscles taxed by hours of dancing on concrete in convention ballrooms. He kisses them goodnight and curbs giggling in foreign beds when tired turns to silly and I'm too spent to do more. When the weekend is over, her puts luggage in the car and drives and allows me to shut my eyes as a city disappears behind us. How it's done... Dad's attempt during a break at ASH Never once has he said he wishes they were basketball players, or volleyball or baseball or.... or anything other than who they were made to...

Fall with the chicks is in full swing. Geometry followed by arabesques...our life moving full throttle. We wouldn't have it any other way . It's a season of solos being prepared for competition and a new duet partnership formed. The girls? They are in full flight. I'm on a slight autopilot, moving from place to place with a sewing basket, costumes, computer and lesson plans in hand. I know it will go all too quickly, so I'm working to cherish the conversations from the backseat and the bedtime cuddles in the midst of doing dinner planning a week in advance with fingers wrapped in band aids from one too many needle attacks. As I write, Little Bit sits next to me sipping a slush and reading the novel she's soon to finish. The Grace Girl's math book lies between us, from when she jumped out of the car to head into class after her younger sister's finished. The iPod plays and traffic from the highway near us causes white noise in the distance. Parked unde...

Sorry I've been mostly absent this week; I've had my hands full with our newest member of the family... She's four pounds of fluff and cuddles, and has been a full time project in addition to all of our other regularly scheduled activities  for the last four days. We chose a breed that is a fantastic family pet, has a charming personality, does not shed, and stays small so I can easily handle her when my hands/wrists aren't in top form . She's had her first bath, played for endless hours with the chicks, and goes with us in the car everywhere  (I want to create a fantastic traveler). The only issue right now is changing her sleep schedule and wake-up time to better work with mine. Hmmmmm....any suggestions? Welcome to the nest, sweet Maizey Blue!

Sometimes we get wild and crazy around the nest. We cook . Confession: I can cook and in cook I mean put lots of ingredients together from scratch and make something delectable and I used to do a great deal of it. My kitchen was permeated with the smells of chicken, soups, chili, roast...the list is endless. I would lovingly prepare foods that my husband enjoyed and my children tolerated. The chicks are not meat (any color) and potatoes gals most of the time. They eat, like, well, chicks. They go for fruits and veggies, salads and whole grains. They love lentils. The prof often shakes his head in amazement. It's not that they don't enjoy the occasional carnivorousness meal, it's that when given a choice between a grass fed burger and a bowl of lentils with peppers. It's lentils. Every. Time. Dinners are healthy. Nutrient packed. Full of protein, minerals and vitamins, carbs and enough fat to keep little bodies growing. Food is usually natural and rarely processed....

Courtesy of the fabulous Abby at Me.Photography A Whirlwind Weekend: Dance practicing Shrub trimming Lazy Susan transplanting Worm playing Mud covering Football yelling Extra sleeping Pew sitting Mercy learning Hair curling Outfit finding Shutter Clicking Look sharing Heart smiling Hand holding Kissing Internet churching Tears falling Memories circling Joy choosing Good nighting Sweet snuggling Whispered praying Eyes shutting .   .   .   . That's what our weekend looked like...What happened in yours?

This Week... This week I've stated "She can't hurt a thing." and meant it every single time This week I drove to Gatlinburg to eat at a pancake place for lunch, and I don't eat lunch This week I've done loads of laundry to remove meals off of clothing and I've treasured folding every single piece This week I watched my eldest with new eyes as she toted on a hip, grabbed things, entertained and all around looked like I did with her--although beautiful, this scared me This week I didn't care that my wood floors weren't cleaned and shiny--I treasured little tiny footprints mixed with big ones all over it This week my main room looked bare--all of the throw pillows were removed and the rug pulled up so I didn't have to worry about milk being spilled or cheese and cracker crumbs being dropped--but my couch was full This week, my Wheatie, Tallulah Mae (aka Lulu) became "OOOH-LU" and was the most gentle and sweet I've ever seen h...