Soaring and Stillness: Life with the Chickadees

I’ve deeply wrestled lately with identity and purpose.  I believe I’m prepared for the road. I’ve diligently studied the map. But then, BAM, there is an unexpected turn or I encounter brambles that pull and tear at my clothing. Here, in the unknown, I turn into a frazzled, frustrated mess questioning each inch of the cartography.  “Why am I doing this?” “Is it even worth it to continue?” “Why is no one here to help me?” “Where am I actually headed?” I’ve long sought to teach the chickadees that there is a great difference between desire and purpose and that is normal and acceptable to question. Doing what we want to do  is incredibly different than doing what we are called to do. For small humans, it is remarkably easy to redirect the want for the should. It might have taken some extra persuasion, but generally those beautiful, big, soulful eyes showed agreement and little hands slipped inside of mine and we fairly easily continued down a path. They grew, and heels d...

"I've decided." "You've decided what?" "I've decided what I'd like to be when I'm older." I knew this would be good, but nothing could have prepared  me for what came next. "I'm going to be Einstein. Or, you know, maybe Sally Ride." "Albert Einstein?" I managed to say, the smile showing only in my eyes. "Yep. But without the hair. He had CRAZY hair." She was serious. This wisp of a seven year old had plans. Apparently big ones. "You know what Einstein did, right?" Her father asked gently. I was so proud of him. If I'd been driving we may have been off the road at this point. His grin huge, all but hidden from her view by the angle of the seat. "Well, you do love school. You have to love it, a lot, if you want to be the next Einstein...You may be able to do it...", his voice trailing off as he shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me. I was also proud of the Grac...

Dear Grace Girl, Twelve years ago we welcomed you into our world. Twelve years.... Days of laughter, frustration, watching you grow and growing alongside you as a woman and a mother. Learning your cries and glances and smiles. Getting to know you. Beautiful YOU With a spirit of determination that develops seemingly daily. Your strength astonishes me....You're unique. You move to the beat of your own drummer and have learned this year that the crowd isn't so interesting. I'm in awe of the depth of your passions and of the ways you work to make dreams become reality. It has been my privilege to watch you face opposition and show Christ to others, in your word and response and deed. Your heart is lovely. Truly lovely . Never let anyone or thing change it...except to make it bigger. Never fear being stretched. It's what makes you grow. You've lived more in this year than I did in decades. I was awkward and duckling-like at your age, and you? YOU  ar...

"It is never easy to keep reaching for dreams. Strength and  courage can sometimes be lonely friends. But for those who do reach for stars, they walk in stardust." This weekend, we chased dreams with our grace girl.   She reached.  She sparkled. Joy was in her eyes. She soared. Stardust was underfoot.

It seems that here in the nest we're in perpetual motion, flitting and floating from one activity to the next. Today I've done three loads of laundry, cleaned the main floor, showered (a minor miracle), walked the pooch, ran the garbage back and forth to the curb, taught lessons for both of the girls, pretended to be nice to our persnickety neighbor , scheduled all of the appointments for the next two weeks, checked the voicemail (a major miracle) and driven to dance. As I handed Little Bit a snack and glanced up at the monitor where Miss Leggy was completing a quad turn (for those of us less versed in dance terminology that is four complete revolutions in a row ) it hit me...I'd forgotten the dance clothing I'd purchased to donate. Leotards, tights, ballet shoes, and hair accessories all sitting in neat bundles in my abyss of a closet. Gear I said I'd bring today to help with an after school inner-city dance program put together by one amazing member of our studio...