A Letter to my Twelve Year Old


Dear Grace Girl,

Twelve years ago we welcomed you into our world.

Twelve years....


Days of laughter, frustration, watching you grow and growing alongside you as a woman and a mother. Learning your cries and glances and smiles. Getting to know you.

Beautiful YOU

With a spirit of determination that develops seemingly daily. Your strength astonishes me....You're unique. You move to the beat of your own drummer and have learned this year that the crowd isn't so interesting. I'm in awe of the depth of your passions and of the ways you work to make dreams become reality. It has been my privilege to watch you face opposition and show Christ to others, in your word and response and deed. Your heart is lovely. Truly lovely. Never let anyone or thing change it...except to make it bigger. Never fear being stretched. It's what makes you grow.

You've lived more in this year than I did in decades. I was awkward and duckling-like at your age, and you? YOU  are flying. When you took that very first ballet class a few years ago I would've never imagined what our God would do in and though you with your athleticism, aptitude and grace. I didn't dream of you dancing twenty plus hours a week as you approached twelve. I didn't see us travelling around the country on scholarships as you worked at dance with all of you. How could I  know that this would become your passion? Some people never find it, the fire that makes them sparkle. I'm so thankful you have. You shine so brightly and reflect Him so well. Praying before you preform, asking the One who created you to shine though you. He does. I'm so thankful.

There have been so many firsts and changes this year, that in some ways it reminds me of our primary twelve months together. We are learning to navigate the waters of as you continue to develop into the young woman that you were created to be. You've been asked to accept more than a child should this year...A year where you lost one of your biggest voices of support and a piece of your heart. I know that the ache you've experienced is not one that will fade easily, nor will that hole ever be filled. I am so very proud of the manner in which you've felt your way through this and the ways in which you continue to honor all that she is to you and taught you about living and loving well. Our girl loved you so much. So, so much. She'd be so proud of you, just like I am.

I love the way you are always looking ahead and planning for the next moment. So much is ahead of you...New York for nationals, Joffrey acceptance...in the year ahead your life will just keep getting bigger.  Please be careful to not miss all of the moments going on right now; take the time to be a kiddo for a little bit longer...although you've never really been "kidlike" in how you view our world. I can't wait to experience this next year of life alongside you, my Grace Girl. Thank you for teaching me to see things through your eyes, a viewpoint which is colorful and exciting and full of movement.

I look forward to watching you grow and soar ,sweet one. Spread those unmatched wings of yours and fly.

All of my love forever and ever,

Mumma

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Loving Well

It's as much a part of me as breathing, this friendship she and I have woven together.  In and out, up and down, encircling us. Never ceasing. Never slowing. None of the breaks, skips, or hiccups that usually occur in relationships. Not a one. We came together so seamlessly I don't  remember what my life, my days, my moments felt like without her beside me, even in a figurative sense. I know it sounds odd, the stuff of science fiction movies and creepy music, but our relationship has been like that from the beginning. I wake up when something happens to her or when she dreams and cannot bring herself out of it. She knows when I've hit my bottom and swoops in to scoop me up.   Even our night times overlap. That silly red sports car she drives in the non-waking hours? It shows up for both of us. I tell her geniuses choose green and she laughs. I am thankful to hear it so strong, so clear. Her laughter is the mix of all things beautiful; soft undertones of leaves
Read more

The Power of Words

Before Sara died, she asked me to speak at her wake. She didn't desire that I share with others memories  of  her. Rather, she asked that I speak about who she was in this world. She told me that she wanted people who came  to see her  as I spoke.  She also told me I wasn't allowed to cry. It would, she stated, "Make things less effective."  Love her.   A friend who was present asked that I  ( Shannon )  put it up for all of you, who were unable to join us at the service, to read. .  .  .  .  .  .  . Gail Caldwell wrote:  "It's an old, old story. I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that too."   Words are powerful. Uniting. They shape our view of the world, ourselves, each other. Words, in the best cases, make us immortal. Words are how I found her. Faith is what brought us together. A friend send me an email, asking me to pray for a mother who knew she was going to lose her baby girl and carried he
Read more

Tuesday's Child is Full of Grace

Eleven years ago you entered our world. Small. Red. Making your voice heard. Three separate due dates: March 4 th (actual), January 28 th (for my health), February 6 th (for yours). On Tuesday, February 8, 2000, you decided you’d join us. At your own pace, in your own time; forty two hours of labor, most of it without great progression. Then from 4 to 10 in a hour and six pushes later, you arrived. I had not allowed myself to fall in love with you. The doctors told me that I carried antibodies that could cause your death if the pregnancy made it to 36 weeks. If . That was the word throughout the weeks you grew and developed. If you made it, if I made it, if my kidneys held out. They told me I wouldn’t get pregnant. I did. At week six they suggested I terminate when bloodwork came back showing more strikes against both of us. I refused. They were wrong. I decided, then and there, that they were wrong. That we’d make it. Together . Those days were not e
Read more