Dreaming Double

One spot to another, always in flight. These chicks keep me on my toes.

Lately, we've done quite a bit of travel with dance. The professor is busy with work and so the legs he was helping with driving have fallen to me. It means a whole lot more time away from the nest. Today, we left at noon and will arrive home sometime after 9:30 p.m. 

LONG

Long for them and for me. Driving to our distance ballet, taking Little Bit to the library to finish up schooling and then trekking to the other studio for assisting and classes for both of them all night. I sit bundled in my jacket and her scarf, earbuds in and the girls doing jetes in the other room. 

Classes change. My sweet babe moves into her company hour with a sharp jazz routine and the Grace Girl works on changing a solo from pointe to ballet, just in case the pointe component is not ready for another competition in two weeks. I think it will be, but she's not sure...always the perfectionist in her dancing, she's her own harshest critic.

I've moved in to the small studio to listen, a background of soft beats as she and her sweet, sweet teacher adjust slight movements "just in case". Her necklace jingles and proclaims her initial and "beautiful", a gift from me for her eleventh birthday. A reminder of how I see her and how I hope she sees herself. Jingles combine with turns as movement ensues.

How I love her tenacity.

Her grace.

Her determination.

What she has to teach me about dreaming is endless...

It's not only for childhood

Don't do it small

Pursue passion

Go God sized 



.   .   .   .

The group of moms that is waiting to pick the littles up from class is congregated in the waiting room. Bundled under coats and in them and chatting away. I'm thankful for them, for their kindness and warmth and inclusion. The dance world is made up of mothers that are competitive for their children. These women? They are different. They laugh and talk and fill this place. We're invited in to watch the routine for the company level that Little Bit is a part of; for most, this will be their first convention and competition in a few weeks. They all think that every part of dance is fun, and that is how it should be. Grace Girl tapes the piece for review and I simply watch. Motion and smiles and pointed toes all making it spectacular. A lift takes place, and I think about how far ahead she is of where her big sister was at the same age. She does not take for granted the example that lives in the bedroom next to hers, and all of the watching is now paying off in her dancing.



The same qualities that I value in her big sister I embrace in her as well; double dreaming takes place within our walls.

Double and God sized.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds, but for now I'm learning to savor the long days. 

Because lately? Lately, they provided glimpses into the lovely ones ahead of us.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jer 29:11



Comments

  1. tinuvielFebruary 1, 2013 at 8:41 PM

    Beautiful! so glad to hear an update from you. I've been wondering and praying and hoping you were simply marvelously, exhaustingly busy. Such beautiful dancers and a beautiful mama. That scarf must be a comforting presence.

    Lovely profile photo too. Grace to you sufficient for those packed days, friend.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Loving Well

It's as much a part of me as breathing, this friendship she and I have woven together.  In and out, up and down, encircling us. Never ceasing. Never slowing. None of the breaks, skips, or hiccups that usually occur in relationships. Not a one. We came together so seamlessly I don't  remember what my life, my days, my moments felt like without her beside me, even in a figurative sense. I know it sounds odd, the stuff of science fiction movies and creepy music, but our relationship has been like that from the beginning. I wake up when something happens to her or when she dreams and cannot bring herself out of it. She knows when I've hit my bottom and swoops in to scoop me up.   Even our night times overlap. That silly red sports car she drives in the non-waking hours? It shows up for both of us. I tell her geniuses choose green and she laughs. I am thankful to hear it so strong, so clear. Her laughter is the mix of all things beautiful; soft undertone...
Read more

Lonely Eyes

Today I took the time to gently lift her into my arms and sway around the kitchen.  Laying aside all of the I have to's   and instead looking her in the eyes and noticing the lonely. Wondering if my eyes look the same I stopped cleaning up dinner and unloading the dishwasher and pulling out the vitamin regiment for the 'morrow. I started listening to the quiet of her heart.  The place that was calling out for more of me in the regular moments. Scrolling through the music on the phone, I found her song. The one I've sang to her since her NICU days. Choosing it carefully, pushing play, watching the wonder in her eyes. She  did not realize it was on our devices. Wonder replacing lonely My little is still small enough to fit on my hip, even at seven. I tell her it's God's gift to me, being able to tote her when she gets tired or hurt or just plain lonely . Growing up isn't easy. Neither is being grown up. Knowing this, I hold her tighter and we glide aroun...
Read more

The Power of Words

Before Sara died, she asked me to speak at her wake. She didn't desire that I share with others memories  of  her. Rather, she asked that I speak about who she was in this world. She told me that she wanted people who came  to see her  as I spoke.  She also told me I wasn't allowed to cry. It would, she stated, "Make things less effective."  Love her.   A friend who was present asked that I  ( Shannon )  put it up for all of you, who were unable to join us at the service, to read. .  .  .  .  .  .  . Gail Caldwell wrote:  "It's an old, old story. I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that too."   Words are powerful. Uniting. They shape our view of the world, ourselves, each other. Words, in the best cases, make us immortal. Words are how I found her. Faith is what brought us together. A friend send me an email, asking me to pray for a mother wh...
Read more