It was dark. Cold. Rainy. The digits were closer to six than seven. Way too early.
I didn't want to go. But I did it anyway because that's what I do. I stick to the plan, follow the rules, stay on task. No matter what.
I'm disciplined. I'm not saying this in a proud or haughty manner, just as a matter-of-fact. It's a part of who I am. A friend used to tease me that I should have remained Catholic, because I am great at making something ritual.
So, I get up. I put one foot in front of the other, and I keep on keeping on.
I want to nestle back under the covers. I want to spend the day in the abyss that is my heart.
That's not life. Not mine anyway. I homeschool, exercise, study the Word, and do a massive amount of driving to the chicks' activities. I pay bills, manage the household, clean from top to bottom, and make sure all are fed. I care for everyone. There's not time for me in my day. I need to find moments.
Please don't take these words as a complaint. I am beyond thankful for our home, our girls, my life. I am grateful I am capable of maintaining my current speed and course. I know it could all change in an instant. But today? Today I am tired. I ache. I am lonely. I desire to hibernate, and my cave sharing buddy is gone.
So, I take a deep breath, open my bible, and lean on these words:
"Come to me, all who are tired and weary, and I will give you rest."
I choose to rest on His promise today. I choose to let Him minister to my heart. I will seek Him when I feel the crazy of life creeping it. He calls me to it.
In times like these, I see the benefits of being a "no matter what" girl.