Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Keeping On...

This morning it took all I had to slip from beneath the warm, cozy blanket and pull on my worn track shorts and tank.

It was dark. Cold. Rainy. The digits were closer to six than seven. Way too early.


I didn't want to go. But I did it anyway because that's what I do. I stick to the plan, follow the rules, stay on task.  No matter what.


I'm disciplined. I'm not saying this in a proud or haughty manner, just as a matter-of-fact. It's a part of who I am. A friend used to tease me that I should have remained Catholic, because I am great at making something ritual.

So, I get up. I put one foot in front of the other, and I keep on keeping on.

I want to nestle back under the covers. I want to spend the day in the abyss that is my heart.

That's not life. Not mine anyway. I homeschool, exercise, study the Word, and do a massive amount of driving to the chicks' activities. I pay bills, manage the household, clean from top to bottom, and make sure all are fed. I care for everyone. There's not time for me in my day. I need to find moments.


Please don't take these words as a complaint. I am beyond thankful for our home, our girls, my life. I am grateful I am capable of maintaining my current speed and course. I know it could all change in an instant.  But today? Today I am tired. I ache. I am lonely. I desire to hibernate, and my cave sharing buddy is gone.

So, I take a deep breath, open my bible, and lean on these words:

"Come to me, all who are tired and weary, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28


I choose to rest on His promise today. I choose to let Him minister to my heart. I will seek Him when I feel the crazy of life creeping it. He calls me to it.

In times like these, I see the benefits of being a "no matter what" girl.

5 comments:

  1. Yay! I subscribed to your blog! So now I can keep up with you here as well as Twitter. My heart has been heavy for you these last few days. Praying God's grace for you - grace for each and every moment.

    Know that you are loved . . .

    xxx Mary

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  2. Shannon....As you keep on keeping on, know that you have friends everywhere. I admire your ability to stay with your routine....no matter what. That says a lot for you. Yes, it does.
    Warm hugs from South Georgia to you.
    Love,
    Jackie

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  3. I am praying He meets you here too, in fact its been part of my constant prayer for you, that you FEEL his presence and love for you.

    There are so many of us saying prayers for you and hoping you know how loved you truly are... Love you honey... so proud you are a "no matter what," girl!

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  4. I know how that feels. The lonely, the aching, the weary of body & spirit, the missing.

    Hope you take time today for a hot drink, a cuddle with those sweet girls on the couch, some worship music.

    Know you are not alone.... and so very loved.

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  5. "Today I am tired. I ache. I am lonely. I desire to hibernate, and my cave sharing buddy is gone."

    Shannon, those last 6 words...(HUGS). Praying for your healing heart as you continue on with life.

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