Soaring and Stillness: Life with the Chickadees

Where are my thoughts today? Am I stressing over preparations, schedules, kids, work? Where is my focus? Is it inward or am I striving to be a light? What is the condition of my heart? Am I taking the time to cultivate relationships with others? I've been asking myself these three questions every morning before I rustle the sheets and exit the covers. In the time between my eyes starting to flutter open and the pulling on of my sneakers, I'm working on being heart  intentional. I've found that it's not enough lately to simply pray before I rise...my thoughts are too scattered with the day scrolling behind my lids. I have to give it all to Him... He knows my needs, my plans, my hopes.  He was there first. He created and gave me this beautiful life that I am so very privileged to experience. I do not take that lightly.  I do sometimes lack in the remembrance of giving it all back to Him.  I tend to take and hold on tightly, rather ...

Congratulations... The winner of the David Crowder Band "Oh for Joy" album is Kristin Smith. I loved hearing all about your favorite carols and songs for this season; it seems that for all of us, music is both a heart and memory aid. .   .   .   . It's been a crazy few weeks around here. The prof has been travelling and doing a ton of project work   which translates to I've been going it alone since he went to Spain in October ; hopefully  this will change in the next few weeks so he may actually enjoy the holiday. I've been searching for a new dance studio for the chicks loooong story  where their hearts as well as there feet will find joy. Christmas decisions, shopping, ordering, wrapping and then sending have been a solo experience   USPS is a super fun place to stand in line for an hour. Add all of this to the normal homeschooling, wife/mother duties, bill paying and house maintaining and I've not felt a whole lot like myself lately. I've...

Music is a HUGE part of our home. My Little Bit hums and sings and twitters everywhere she goes and in all she does...much to the dismay of her older sister. I sang to the chicks in the womb, we play tunes constantly, and both girls have a strong affinity for the piano.   Silent Night ?  Not in our home. Smirk. With it being the Christmas season, we've changed up our playlists and found new favorites for the Pandora stations. I've always felt that Bing, Frank, and Judy do it best with the classics, but this year we've expanded our repertoire outside of the norms to include David  Crowder Band's new album, Oh For Joy. It is honestly the best  Christmas album I've heard in ages. Seeing as it's Christmas, and giving is so much better than receiving, I'll be gifting an iTunes copy of the album if you leave a comment below by midnight on December 10th.  I know hearing it will be good for your heart, your spirit, your joy levels. My all time favorite carol ...

The tree comes out the weekend after my birthday, usually going up amid shouts and cheers for our boys in blue as I carefully unwrap precious ornaments given decades ago. The small pieces of cloth, glass, metal, and wood are treasures in our home; Each piece gave me pause. I stood, remembering the friend who so lovingly stitched our "Yard of the Month" ornament while we were in the Navy together.  Those years when the grace girl was toddling around and I was ripping out bushes and changing landscaping in officer housing...giving attention to something that stayed done for more than four minutes with an active babe in the house. It was the three of us, a time where work didn't come home with the man because it was classified and our nights and weekends were all ours to shower our girl with stories and play and attention. Then came the block "M" for the years of the PhD and little bit joining us...the hospital she was born in bearing the same title as th...

"The secret to joy is to keep seeking God when we struggle to see where He is." -Ann Voskamp Sometimes, the easy thing to do is give up. ...to stop trying. ....to stop caring. ...to stop doing . We struggle to find Him in the places that are shadowy. We don't look closely; we merely glance,  then sigh in frustration at our seeming night blindness. In the dark, we shut our eyes, squinting them tightly against any light that may peek under the lids.  A bright that desires to come in, that steals under cracks and corners and shows as a sliver and reflection in places where we try to hide from it. Light that warms, heals, brings rest to the weary soul. It's in the struggle that we find out who we are, what we're made of, who He's making of us in the glorious mess we've made of ourselves.  In the struggle we find that it's not as much about seeing Him as it is the knowing Him.   It's about finding lig...

" We give thanks not because of how we feel ...but because of Who He is..." -Ann Voskamp This is a week of thanksgiving, in word, in deed, in practice. A week where we pause and count our blessings, give our thanks. A week to remember... strength growth sorrows laughter upheaval  peace joy There is gratitude in the remembrance; allowing ourselves to visit the year with fresh eyes and an open heart, seeing what we may have missed in the hurried of the day. Giving thanks in all things, because His purpose is present even in the shadows. They shape us, define us, allow us to find a strength within that could only come from Him. In the dark, we are hallowed out and space is shaped for Him to come in.  Our invitation, most often, is when we are in the dark places. The thanksgiving? It is a response of gratitude. Of joy. It is an acknowledgement of the One who gives us all good things in His time. ...

Sometimes, the rain and temperature drop combine for a caustic combination on the body.   I tell my chicks that our walk for today is on hold, seeing as one of my ribs doesn't feel much like cooperating with the rest  of the cage.  Sitting up straight is virtually impossible. Deep breaths take work.   UGH . The eldest conspires with the little. They are supposed to be studying for a Latin exam as I lay flat on the  floor, the only position offering relief at this point. A plan has been reached. "You take her arms and I'll grab her legs and we'll both pull, okay?" ... WHAT??? Tiny hands encircle my wrists, stronger ones grasp at my ankles. The dog decides to come and lick my face. I'm trapped .  Protesting quickly turns into belly laughter as they both start pulling in opposite directions.   Round 2, all pulling at once...I grabbed the camera between giggles I'm not in any less discomfort as I type this, but a smile nudges at t...

When life gives you puddles... Grab a partner in crime Take a leap Hold on tightly Laugh with abandon Rest Make a big splash Empty your boots Begin afresh

; Last week, I missed the Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday.  We were travelling to Greenville, SC,  for a dance competition and convention for our grace girl, and I don't have wireless in the vehicle. Today I'm downright exhausted from the travel, the waiting, the stress and three consecutive mornings which began before five a.m., but I desire to write.  I just need a bit of inspiration. So, I'm choosing a grace offered to me in the form of "Unexpected"... Five minutes, no editing, no turning back.  Writing for the joy of it all... Unexpected .   .   .   .   .    Unexpected.  The word which defines six out of the last seven days. Synonymous with  the likes of : unforseen, unlooked-for, surprising, abrupt. The definition of my heart at each new turn and bump and rise in the road. The events of  last week were completely out-of-the-blue. How we dealt with them was even more surprising.  P...

"It is never easy to keep reaching for dreams. Strength and  courage can sometimes be lonely friends. But for those who do reach for stars, they walk in stardust." This weekend, we chased dreams with our grace girl.   She reached.  She sparkled. Joy was in her eyes. She soared. Stardust was underfoot.

Her maturity astounds me. How this girl woman at the most unexpected of times shows me how to accept what seems unthinkable and unfair and cruel. Her arms wrap all the way around me, the cap of her hair no longer nestled at my chin but at my high cheekbone. No tears are shed. Her sister, a wisp of a lass, sobs when I break the news. My grace girl?  She envelopes the little in her chest and repeats what I am already murmuring..."I'm so sorry, sweet pea, so sorry...we'll find something else, we'll make it alright... He'll make it work out the way it is supposed to..." I believe it. I believe that there is a bigger plan in place in our lives. I know I am not privy to all of the details. I trust, most times, blindly. I incorporate the trust, the belief, the letting go into my life and consequently theirs. Faith. Not that things are all going to turn out rosy, but that they'll turn out according to His plan. I'm tha...

My friend, Sara, lived life loud . Her voice was heard far and wide. She had weight in this world. She was.. . beautiful loved cherished spirit-filled Sara lived  in such a way that she will be carried, in speech and heart, forever by those who followed her blog and walked beside her in life. On Sunday, after an afternoon spent tossing leaves and smiling for the camera, I tuned in to the internet campus of Crosspoint church. I spent some time in worship that was out of this world phenomenal. I had a box of tissues at the ready in case my heart came out through my eyes.  It did Blake spoke of happiness, of joy, and of the difference between the two. It was the same talk we'd had with our girls that very morning. Sigh . He stated it was a choice, this joy choosing. My sentiments exactly The sermon was thought provoking and challenging and incredibly well done. Just like one of my favorite people who no longer treads g...

Courtesy of the fabulous Abby at Me.Photography A Whirlwind Weekend: Dance practicing Shrub trimming Lazy Susan transplanting Worm playing Mud covering Football yelling Extra sleeping Pew sitting Mercy learning Hair curling Outfit finding Shutter Clicking Look sharing Heart smiling Hand holding Kissing Internet churching Tears falling Memories circling Joy choosing Good nighting Sweet snuggling Whispered praying Eyes shutting .   .   .   . That's what our weekend looked like...What happened in yours?

Today I'm linking up with The Gypsy Mama and trying out her five minute Friday. For five minutes I'll write, unscripted and unedited.  Today's topic? Remember.   Ready, set....Go. REMEMBER I can't remember what it's like to live not feeling every joint I've been given. The joke around the nest is that I still have all of my original parts. Every single one, even when I feel that they need a lube and oil. I'm grateful. The chicks mouths gaped in awe on on an evening not too long ago as I told stories they probably thought they were fairy tales  about... Dancing Playing soccer year round Running miles, long and hard, the breath coming from the deep and the exhilaration filling all parts of me Remembering... ...twirling in shoes pink and soft, feeling beautiful. ...long hours on the field in all weather, on and off for over a decade. ... how it felt when my feet barely touched the soil and I was lost to everything except the thou...

"Something about the sunrise  reminds me of your  faithfulness..." -Ten Shekel Shirt I awoke to the dark Lying in silence, thoughts swirled Music filled my head The lyrics a balm to my soul Praising in the darkness Praising from the shadows Praising because I can I should I will Rising and dressing, tiptoeing down the stairs Phone in hand Greeted by this Coincidence? Never. Gratitude? Always. "From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same, the Lord's name is to be praised."  -Psalm 113:3 Swirling in my brain? Ocean by Ten Shekel Shirt Ocean (Album Version) by Ten Shekel Shirt

This morning I got lost in the remembering... Instead of bustling through my schedule and checking things off the to-do list, I paused and looked over my shoulder Carving with my Dad (I was 12 days short of 5 years) Belle 2004 October 2005 2006 Cinderella and a tired trick-or-treater Fern and my little pumpkin 2007 (yes,  we got mileage out of the pumpkin) First Year in TN  2008 Oct 31, 2009 Disney for Daddy's work conference Glamour Girl and Pebbles October 31, 2010 Little Witch (Professor Petite) 2011 As I was perusing the Halloween shots, I came across this one, taken seven years ago today... November 1, 2004 Seven years ago... My girls were four and the all important half and almost three months ... I thought I'd never sleep again and wondered how I was going to shop for Christmas with two little people. I recall making dinner and thinking  it was strangely quiet...too quiet. I peaked my h...

She walked out bundled, braided, carrying a peanut butter sandwich and applesauce just in case she did not prefer the dinner available at the farm. One quick kiss, a reminder to stay with the group as they explored the maze. A bus ride of over an hour...on the big yellow tank she used to take to and from school each day before we made the move to homeschooling.  Her exclamation priceless as she was dropped off, "Look! Number 227...I rode it  every day. What are the odds?" Flutters in my stomach as I let her fly Random texts arrived throughout the hours she was away with sparse details. The lack of communication showing, more than anything else, that fellowship and laughter were plentiful in the dark, crisp  see your breath  air of this  late October nigh. Time alone with my little, rare in years past, is becoming plentiful. My grace girl is growing up. A text that the bus is exiting the freeway her little sister long since put to bed  and ...

We're big  HUGE believers in giving thanks. Showing gratitude in both word and deed. In our home we pen thank you notes up the wazoo (I'm quite sure it's a lost art form at this point). At dinner, we tell one amazing thing that happened in our day and describe why we're thankful for it. We carry lunch sacks of food in the car to hand out to the homeless we encounter at stoplights.  You can laugh...my man did when he first heard about it... We regularly donate to food pantries and rescue ministries. When we pray? We start with our thanks and then move on to the other things... However, I've found one of the best ways to teach the girls gratitude in giving is in the sponsorship of   Compassion children.  We write letters, send birthday and Christmas gifts, and sponsor monthly. Our chicks love hearing about the lives they touch on the other side of the globe. Our hearts, as parents, melt when  they suggest purchasing goats and chick...

Today, I felt her everywhere but could find her nowhere. So, I did something I've neglected to do for well over a month...I grabbed my phone and headed outdoors, a daily occurrence when she was alive. I heard her in the crisp fall leaves beneath our feet I saw her reach in the arms of my eldest, flung heavenward with  face upturned to the sunlight She was there in the solitary leaf gently drifting from the  pile, unconcerned with remaining in the neat bundle of all the others.. .. She was exuberantly  present in this grin and in the joyous release of leaves as they flew high and fluttered down slowly  in the warm fall air... I'm quite sure I felt her here as I gazed out into the quiet of the backyard as the sun began  to set behind one of her favorite trees... (note the sparkle in the grass which only appeared  via the shot) So, I looked with my heart and I found her everywhere.... In the beau...